Peri-Monster

 A recent self-portrait

I am exhausted.  Body and mind.  As a woman I feel overwhelmed with the volume of information I must digest just to take care of myself.  I believe I am reaching "that time" of my life and the loss of sleep does not do much in the way of helping me keeping clear of the cobwebs in the brain.  In fact the loss of sleep only adds to the extreme mood swings. 

I have tried some lotion loaded with plant hormones.  I exercise at least 3 times a week.  For the most part I have a healthy diet.  I drink water.  Now I read that perhaps I should be increasing my serotonin levels by eating complex carbohydrates found in peas and beans  and eating more frequent meals and  drinking hot milk.  Of course losing weight is at the top of the list, but that is confusing when I read in one place that by regulating my hormones everything will balance itself out in my body, but that means very low carb intake and excluding all sugars--even natural sugars and  then include plenty of natural fats.  Other diets to lose weight, including the latest my doctor recommended, says that I should eat pastas and exclude all fats.  What is a girl to do?

Can I phone a friend and ask Oprah if I can use her personal trainer?  Anyone have a cook I can hire?  How about a body double, can that happen in real life and not just in the movies?  How about the science fiction approach and have a brain/mood dump? 

Life in my house is not pretty and it is all my fault.  I apologize and in the same breath can hurl insults.  I am surprised that my body can produce that many tears.  It is a good thing that I keep up on my water intake.  Maybe I should plan monthly vacations to exotic ports around the globe.  Perhaps I should just relocate to some small South American country and change my name.  I could become a hermit.  If I keep this up, my husband may soon be searching for small islands with furnished cabanas.  Anyone have one of those?  If so, please contact B.